unafraid's Diaryland Diary

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it's all messed up, but we're alive...

saturday coming up is my mom's wedding. this friday is my 18th birthday....i really don't want to grow up. but i really can't do much with my friends to celebrate because of my mom's wedding. i'm a little pissed. i really wished my mom didn't schedule her wedding so near to my birthday. she did it on purpose too. she thought it would be "special". yeah right, all she cares about is her wedding. she won't even remember it's my birthday. and in the years to come, she'll be thinking about her anniversary. i know it's so typical of me to be the jealous daughter, but if you have seen the way she is around me and the way she is around her fiancee, you wouldn't blame me. she does everything for him. i know she still loves me, but when we're all together, it's like i'm not even related to her. i don't know.

lauren was supposed to come to my mom's wedding with me to keep me sane, but now she can't because she has saturday school. but that's okay. i mean, it's not really her fault and i DO want her to graduate! so she's gotta do what she's gotta do. we'll do something together soon. sometime in the near future hopefully.

i think i'm moving on from cody. he doesn't seem to care anymore. actually, i don't think i care anymore. i mean, sure i wanted it to work out between us, and i thought it would, but i guess i was wrong. once again. I just want it to work out with Lance now. but i don't even know if he likes me or not, so i'm not jumping to any conclusions yet. we'll just have to wait and see. he'll be in town for the rest of the summer like thursday or friday. =) i can't wait. and i think i should give up on matt already. i doubt anything would happen. why even wait around, you know? i'm just a friend.

anyway, enough about boys. i'm gonna go pick up kristin from school soon.

1:55 p.m. - May 10, 2001

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