unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ugh. why me. why won't i die. fuck! why is that i have to fuck everything up?! i don't know what i'm doing and i never do. i just feel like my life is just one never ending mess right now. one problem may seem to resolve and another one just begins. it's because of the poor choices i make, i suppose. i just don't even feel like bothering anymore! it doesn't really depress me that much anymore - all my fuck ups - it just pisses the hell out of me. that nothing i ever do seems to be right or make sense. how am i going to fix everything? now i understand why most adults say they'd never want to go back to their teenage years. BECAUSE MOST TEENAGERS ARE FUCKING STUPID! dating as teenagers SUCKS ASS. probably 80% of most teenagers are just dumb when it comes to dating. they all just want to be in a relationship. although, i've been told to be the same. maybe i am. i don't want to be, but maybe i am. i'm so sick of dating and flirting and all that bullshit. fuck relationships. fuck everything. i don't want to give a shit anymore. but the fact is, i do. i'm just too fucking boy-crazy for my own good. god, i suck ass. why won't i die. i should at least figure my own shit out before i start to attempt to hook up with the next guy that seems reasonably cute and sweet. why am i like this?!?!?! ugh. i don't want to be like this anymore. i can't express that enough. i just don't know what the hell i'm doing. ever. i don't know how to describe it. i'm just tired of everything i do. it's all wrong. i just don't know how to fix it. it's just one day after another of constant fuck up's and crap like that. maybe i need a mentor to go around with me and help me make desicions because apparently the ones i make are just not right. WHY WON'T I DIE?! 11:41 pm - Oct. 08, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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