unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- with or without you.. today was my day off from work. there were certain things i needed to get done, and i only got half of them done. i'm so lazy. i washed my clothes, but i didn't call my grandmother and write a thank you note like i was supposed to. oops. i'll do that...um...later. today, me and lindsay went to the mall and out to eat at Logan's Roadhouse. neither one of us was very hungry so we just got chips and queso and a few rolls...which were very good. in the middle of the meal, jason called her and they started to talk and stuff. it was cute. she started talking to him about setting me up with one of his friends and i was just like "no thanks. i don't want to date anyone at all. i'm done." but then her and jason started talking about how i'm just going to have to find out for myself that not all guys are jerks and there is someone out there and stuff. of course i just started to cry. i really don't know why. i had all these thoughts running through my head about myself and different guys and different experiences i've had with them. so i'm not really sure that i should involve myself with guys in that way anymore. if a guy is interested, then fine. but i'm not looking anymore. it hurts and my brain and more importantly, my heart. which really is my fault sort of. i mean, i jump out there and grab a random guy that i think is cute that i might have a chance with. like shawn. now, i don't want to say that shawn was a mistake or anything....we just didn't click. i'm not his type and lindsay says he's "not the kind of guy i need". which may not be such a bad idea. i mean, he would be just a long distance boyfriend for the most part and i don't want to have a long distance relationship unless it's with a guy that i really REALLY like and trust. so...yeah. apparently, there is someone out there that i'll find who'll be perfect for me. or so i'm told. i really don't even want to mess with the opposite sex right now. i've got friends. we still have fun.......that's all you need right? ....right? 5:48 pm - Nov. 26, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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