unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i thought about the army, dad said "son, you're f***ing high!" so trista, lindsay, jason, and jeff came to see me at work tonight. yeah it was great. they came in to see me at work and then we all go out to my car and i find that they have covered my car with "GOD BLESS THE USA" and "I Love New York" and shit like that. i was like "great. #*$&#@(_)@)@#($!!!!!!" yeah, it was fun. then i went to the bank to deposit the money from work and i tore everything off and left a mess there. in front of a camera. haha. smart, huh. oh well. so yeah, the put flag stickers all over my car and all this dumb patriotic shit. they know how much it annoys me. not that being patriotic annoys me...it's just that something like this happens and people put up a big fuss and start saying "United We Stand" and stuff. and every other day of the year we are like "fuck you, buddy!" flipping people off on the freeway, etc. it just seems hypocritical of us to be all like "we love each other in this country." while, when everything is normal, we'd rather go shoot each other up in schools and having drive-by shootings with our many gangs around the US. make sense?? so anyway, enough bitching. "we're all dust, anyway" -reed. nothing we really do will stick except for the acts of kindness. the fruits of the spirit. god, i miss reed. haha. i miss looking at the schedule and being able to have days to look forward to when i work with him. like i used to open every tuesday and he'd come in at 1:30. tomorrow is tuesday - i am opening, but kristin is coming into work instead of reed. kristin said that it's still a possibility that reed will come back, though. so i keep hoping that he will. it just sucks not being able to see him and have him cheer me up and talk to and stuff, you know? and i know you guys hear me bitch and whine about this all the time...i just feel like no matter what i say, i can't exactly justify how much i miss just knowing he's there. i have talked to him a little bit at the parks mall when i needed his help, but still...i just wish he was here. i still have his cappo. i need to see when i can give it back to him. he has a $25 gift certificate from the company that he needs to pick up...i wonder if he knows about it. i don't want to call him and tell him if he already knows. i just hate it that i wrote him that big personal letter and he never said one word about it. i think next time i see it i'm just going to say "so. did you ever read that note i gave you??" b/c it's killing me not knowing what he thought of it. i know that he thinks a lot. and i bet you anything, he thought about it a lot like in the car on the way home or at home...i mean, geez. i told him he was my mentor. what if someone told you that? i told him a lot of personal stuff and he never said a word about any of it. it just makes me wonder too much. does he think i have a crush on him? is he flattered? is he scared now? haha. i'll never know until i ask. just don't know when i'll get the chance. i hope he comes back soon. really soon. anyway, i'm going to stop rambling about him now. haha. =) later kiddos. i need sleep. 1:31 am - Dec. 18, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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