unafraid's Diaryland Diary

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and i hoped the day would be when you'd write a song for me....

i am so tired.

i work everyday from 9 to about 4 or 5...get home about 5 or 5:30...leave the house for school around 5:30 or 7 (depending what night it is) and then after class i've been going out with lindsay until at least 12 most nights. then i come home, stay up watching tv or checking email and my friends' diaries. i guess part of it is my fault that i'm so tired. i mean, i don't have to go out with lindsay after school all the time, but i want to. and even after i come home i know i should just go to bed and sleep. but i don't.

i haven't talked to trista or jeff in a while now and i miss 'em. i did call trista the other day to make sure she was still alive. =) we chatted for a bit while i was on my break at work. man...my breaks at the north east mall are going to suck b/c they're scheduled and i only get 15 minutes unlike the 30 minutes i'm used to. plus, i hear that the manager there gets mad if your friends come up and see you a lot. it's definately going to be a challenge the first week that i'm over there, for sure. it's definately not as laidback as it is at my current store. i've got to learn some discipline i guess. i'm gonna miss my store too. =( it's the only one i've been at. my first job. plus, it's got so many memories. it's going to be kinda sad after i leave it behind. despite all the things breaking and falling apart...i loved that store. it's my baby! and now i've got to leave it behind. it's the smallest store in the district for the company i work with and now i'm being transferred to the LARGEST store in the district! what a transition. i just hope i don't feel like i'm drowning over there.

too bad i couldn't transfer to the Parks mall....not ONLY b/c reed works there, but also b/c it's not as big as the one i'm going to. i wouldn't have to adjust that much. it's small and it doesn't get as much business as the one i'm going to. over there, i know i'll always be busy...and i really actually enjoyed being bored off my ass at my little store. especially if i was with a certain someone...no customers, no interupptions...etc. it was nice.

anyway, i've been thinking about him too much this past week so i don't want to get onto that subject or i won't shut up. and then i'll only miss him more than i already do.

i think i'm gonna go to bed now. i just need lots of sleep. i feel like i'm burned-out from work and school and back to work at 9 am then an hour break when i get home, then up to school...then back to work the next morning at 9 am...etc. it actually makes me want to just isolate myself for a while. i know it's only work and school but i feel like i'm being overloaded. stressed.

and it's only been the first week of school so far. i've got a whole semester to go.

2:05 am - Jan. 18, 2002

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