unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- everybody knows it sucks to grow up... ricky called up to the store today. but only to apologize to kristin because he was rude to her the other day. he thought she was someone of a lower stature in our little sam goody world. which still, isn't really cool, but you know...at least he apologized right..? if kristin really was someone of a lower position than him and he were rude, would he not have apologized at all? hmm. anyway, the whole point to this was that he did not ask to talk to me. if we were perhaps still dating, he might have, but i seem to keep reminding myself we are no longer dating, therefore, no longer obligated to talk with each other occassionally. granted, we are still friends, just not that kind of friends. who knows. i think i'm still crossing my fingers that he will come around in time. work was still pretty good today though! i actually had fun. imagine that. me having fun on a busy saturday at a mall. we did get pretty busy, but i didn't mind it. i seemed to open up to the co-workers that i have felt excluded from only because i don't talk to them. still, they do their whole little "employee parties and get-togethers" that i haven't been invited to yet, but they are slowly coming around. i don't want to quit as badly as i did before. i'm almost even glad that i transfered to this one than any other. although, if i had transfered to the Irving with Ricky...would he have liked me so much more that he wouldn't have wanted to call it quits? maybe i shouldn't even ask these questions. he did what he felt he needed to do and i should respect that. and i do. suprisingly. yes, i'm still kinda hurt, but i totally understand that he just got out of this really long and meaningful relationship and he just can't jump into another one right away. i completely understand that and have been in that position. anyway, the point is, i understand he needs his time and i have to give it to him. maybe he'll come around. i still like him and miss him. i haven't seen him in over a week and i just wanna hang out with him and be with him, you know? although, i don't think that would be a wise thing. we are still going to see Ben Folds together though and i'm glad. i need to give him time...but i'm so impatient. but he really needs it. 4 years of living with your girlfriend and suddenly ending it all has got to be hard on him. he needs healing time or whatever. i have to give it to him. hell, i don't even know if he really likes me that much. he said he did, but if he did, would he have ended it with me? wouldn't he have struggled with those inner thoughts that really wanted to be with me and decided that he didn't need healing time and stuck with me? if he really liked me. ugh. note to self: stop being so damned hard on yourself. lighten up. on a nice little side note of the day, i saw a yummy Ben Folds video at work. i almost cried. it was also quite difficult ringing up customers and staring at ben folds adorable dimples at the same time, but i managed. ok anyway, i'm gonna go raid the fridge and see how much i can stuff in my face before passing out in front of the tv. must be nice to have a life beyond home, school, and work. ha. 11:07 pm - Feb. 16, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||