unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- or is it your face...that's got you down.. for the record, today was a much better day than yesterday. for the most part. yesterday, was a disaster. i did something really stupid at work (giving back a customer cash instead of a gift card with store credit for a defective cd) and shortly after - reed yelled at me. i was crushed. i knew that i had screwed up as soon as i saw him eyeing me. and once the customer left, he began to give me a lecture about "violation of the return policy" and blah blah blah. "Why did you give her cash back?? You know that you're not supposed to do that!" i just looked up at him in terror with my face burning and heart sinking. it was my fault, but i hate it when he yells at me. if anyone else were to yell at me i'd be upset too, but it just hurt more hearing it from him. so i apologized a few times and he walked away and told me to take a 30 minute break. so i went outside, called joy on my cell, and broke down. unfortunately, i am one of the most sensitive people i know and cry at the littlest things. i told her that i couldn't take the job anymore and wanted to leave. we talked a little bit more and i went back inside. i knew my eyes were red and so i tried not to make eye contact with him as i went to the bathroom to see how crappy i looked. i tried to make it go away and i went back to work. i pretty much tried to stay out of his way for the rest of the night and i especially didn't ring up anymore customers for the rest of the night. i was telling shelby about it and my eyes got all teary again and she was like "psst...he's comming this way." so i shut up immediatly and walked off. after work i went to joy's but she was at lindsay's. so i went to maria's to get the key to joy's and just stayed there talking to her and leonard until joy, lindsay, and sarah showed up. joy told me that reed called lana and told her how bad he felt about it. i knew that he could tell how much it upset me. it was my fault though, my screw up. i always seem to screw up there. makes me fear getting a real job. and today, i was talking to maida and saying how i really wanted to talk to connie (our district manager) about being promoted to a manager position. but of course maida was like "well, how can you expect to move up if you keep making these mistakes like that?" and she's right. i keep screwing stuff up and not selling as well as i should. vic and connie can probably see that and think "well, is she really ready?" even though, i have been in the management position there at one time. but still. things are just sucking over there right now. and yet again, jon and maida were talking about hanging out with "the group" from our store on sunday (the group being: everyone but me) right in front of me. it sucks. i am completely excluded from any of these outside activities and don't understand why. and why do they always have to discuss it right in front of me?! like i'm not even there or like i don't have any feelings? i might say something to vic tomorrow. it really gets to me, but i don't think there's anything i can do about it. i want to transfer back to my old store, but there are still a few people over here that i would really miss (paul, vic, shelby). probably vic and paul the most. i don't get to work with paul much, but every now and then. he's this awesome british guy that is so nice and funny. we get along great and always tease each other and stuff. too bad he's married. haha. anyway... i think i've rambled on too long now. i was supposed to go to joy's tonight (and was looking forward to it), but she's tired. so i'm going to stay home and...eat probably. or watch CKY for the 2nd time today. great. later. 10:30 pm - Jun. 12, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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