unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- why is everything so confusing? maybe i'm just out of my mind... i'm so tired. tired of everything. bills, work, relationships, everything. i'm working on trying to find a second job and i really don't want to, but i have to. i have to start paying rent and car insurance along with gas, food, and cell phone bills. exciting. and unfortunately, the shit that sam goody pays me probably won't be enough. great. although, i did get a raise the other day. 6 cents. wait - let me calm down after that bit of exciting news. okay. i've been hanging out with shelby pretty much every day now and i feel like i'm losing touch with all my other friends. my love life is still shit and work sucks as well. what does that leave me with? what else is left? maybe me smoking all the time is just my way of rushing the inevitable. my mom emailed me today to see how i was doing because she was worried and i just started to cry. partly because i miss her so much and partly because i don't feel that i'm doing that well at all. i had the day off today and i slept in until 4, watched tv and ate, went back to bed at 5:30, got up at 7 and took a shower, and went to shelby's at 8. some day off. i didn't do all the things i was intending like pay my cell phone bill (which is now 4 days late), buy work clothes, and put money in the bank. oh well, tomorrow is another day off since i only have 16 fucking hours of work this week. my next paycheck will be so small. even smaller than it is now. oh well. enough bitching for one night. guess i should go get some sleep so i can get something done tomorrow. night. 4:09 am - Jul. 30, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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