unafraid's Diaryland Diary

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yup, i'm still alive....

wow. it's been a long, LONG time since i've updated this thing. i haven't even been online for over a month! anyway...things are going okay i guess. scott and i are still doing good. we've been together for about 2 and a 1/2 months now. i still worry about us though. that i like him more than he likes me. i get attached really easy though. i think i should just give it time though, ya know? i'm 19 and the longest "real" relationship i've ever had lasted about a month. so, this is sort of new to me.

anyway, money is the thing that i'm stressing the most about though. paying rent, car insurance, cell phone bills, and still having money for gasoline is not easy. especially when i don't get paid well at all and have no hours at work. next week i'm scheduled for 5 hours. what kind of shit is that?! i can't live off 5 hours of work a week!! maybe if i got paid 30 bucks an hour or something! plus, i got a speeding ticket that has taken over a month to get finally paid off. it's a long story, but in short, the first check i wrote them bounced and they never notified me (i found out from my bank) and the courts never knew what was going on. finally they found my check today and i took it and just gave them cash. so that's over with. and i still owe people money. ugh. i hate money.

anyway, i think i'm gonna go back to school too. if i go back to school, i won't have to pay rent and i won't be so stressed out. i mean, i'm really struggling with money right now and it's all i can think about. it's making me miserable!

but anyway, i better get to bed soon, i actually have rent due tomorrow, but i have to get up early so i can go to the bank to pull some money out for rent. i couldn't even pay all of my rent last week because i needed $70 of it for car insurance and they said i could just pay them back rent + 70 in january, but i won't even be able to do that. like i said, money is the devil.

more later. hope everyone had a good christmas and new year's - i did. =)

1:30 am - Jan. 03, 2003

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