unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- home is where the heart is well, it's been quite a while since i've written in here. this computer has kept screwing up on us at home so we got a whole new hard drive. then, wouldn't you know it, the internet screws up. so we just resorted to getting DSL. something we should have gotten a long time ago. it's so nice. anyway, as for an update on my little world...my job sucks. money sucks. and looking for another job sucks. i've turned in application after application. had interview after interview. and been told numerous times that the employer has just found someone a little more qualified for the position. it's been about 4 months since i started job-hunting. and my own job is driving me completely crazy. my manager is phsyco and the company itself seems more and more shallow with each passing day. i can't stand it anymore. hopefully, something will come along soon before i hang myself in the store from the lighting fixtures so carefully placed, covering the ceiling making the store as hot as a furnace. scott and i are doing well. for a while there he was annoying me so much with every little thing he did. the way he smacked his gum, the way he stared at the TV when i was trying to have a conversation with him...the way he'd laugh out loud at the stupidest things i didn't understand. but all of a sudden, i love him more and more each day. it may be because of the "activity" we have taken up. something i thought i would save for marriage. it's just amazing to share such an experience with someone you love so much. it's not just sex to either of us. it is making love. and it's amazing. after the second time, i felt so much love surrounding us, i just cried. embarrassing as that may sound. i'm in love with him and he loves me. i think about the times after jiten when i thought no one would ever love me. when i would never love anyone else and i would die alone. and then scott came along and it was fun for a while. and now it's become this thing that has blossomed right in front of our eyes and i don't regret a thing. it's not to the point of marriage or anything, but both of us have admitted to thinking about it. i'm sure i daydream about it more than him - me being such a sentimental girl and all. but i can say that i am truly happy with him. it's the guy that all my friends tried to convince me would replace john and then jiten and then reed. scott has. so to all my friends who apparently knew before i did and believed in me. thank you. 3:08 pm - Aug. 26, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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