unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lonely thanksgiving... i've had the urge to read all night and have been for the past 3 hours. it's great to escape reality and live in some fabricated person's world, isn't it? god knows i need to escape my own sometimes. i've actually been reading a book about a girl who makes up her life on the internet in a journal like this one. and i remembered what it was like to write in here. i haven't seen this place for months now and to be honest, i missed it. and tonight, i craved it. scott is out of town for thanksgiving with his own family...somewhere i wished i could be right now. san antonio. away from here. away from my job. away from my slacker life here. i asked off for those days so i could go with him, but of course i couldn't get off work. i work in a mall though. and i thought i could get off for THE Busiest Shopping Day of the Year?! ha. i thought wrong. so now i am completely bored here with nothing to do and dreading friday with all my might. at least i'll have all day thursday to soak up the laziness until i have to be running around like a chicken with her head cut off on friday. but scott doesn't return until sunday. and i know i must sound pathetic whining about how i miss him when he's only been gone 1 day. but cut me some slack...we're the kind of couple that spends every evening together unless one of us were to be dying on the side of an abandoned road. even then we'd be by each other's side. sad, i know. now, this can be a good thing, but it can also be a very bad, bad thing. yeah, it's all cute to be spending our evenings together..."where do you want to eat tongiht?" or "who would you like to call to hang out with us tonight?". one of our close friends even says we act like an old married couple. scary, but cute in a secret way to me. but then it becomes "so...can you think of anything to do tonight?" "nope. you?" "nope." then we stare at the tube for the rest of the night until i fall asleep, he wakes me up, i get cranky, and he kicks me out at 3 o'clock in the morning - knowing that i have to get up in 5 hours or less for work. little things he does start to get to me. the way he picks at his face in the mirror for too long after going to the bathroom. the way i know that's exactly what he's doing after he's been in there for more than 5 minutes without even having to go in there. or the most fun part - being irritated with one another, arguing and then not even remembering what the argument was about, but just feeling angry or hurt. that's fun. but for now, he's out of town and while others are telling me i should be enjoying it while it lasts, i just can't think of a damn thing to do but sit in front of a computer screen and pour out all my thoughts to strangers who will probably never even read this in the first place! but i miss writing in here like i used to. day after day. sometimes twice a day. but where am i nowadays? scott's. no time for poor Diaryland. i wonder if he misses me like i miss him. ha. anyway, it's time to reminisce and read old entries about the person i used to be and the person i still am. later kiddos. happy thanksgiving. 11:35 pm - Nov. 26, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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