unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- rambles today is may the 8th. that means i have 3 or 4 days left until i am 21. depending on whether you actually count the 11th or not. i say you don't. so 3. anywho. i'm just up reading over old emails. there's so many people i've lost contact with. and as i read over old emails i've written, i began to wonder. am i still the same giddy little school-girl? have i grown up any? have i changed? i used to be so sad and lost. now i'm just lost. sure, i'm looking for an apartment now and a new job...but in the big scheme of things..? i'm just a little girl. i'll be 21 in 3 days and i still feel like i'm 16. do people ever grow out of this? how old will i have to be before i actually feel like an adult? do you find responsibility or does it find you? i feel like i've always been the impulsive, irresponsible one. maybe not entirely impulsive though. hell, i'm the type of person that rehearses phone conversations in her head before she even picks up the phone. i re-write emails about 5 times before i actually send them. i guess that's the part of me that fears what others think of me. i don't even know why i do that. everyone tells me "you shouldn't care what others think. more than likely there is someone out there who doesn't like you at all and there's nothing you can do about it." i know this is true. anyway, it's 3:30 am and i am rambling about God knows what. i need sleep for work tomorrow. later kids. 3:24 am - May. 08, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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