unafraid's Diaryland Diary

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and i'm spent.

work is really frustrating me. i have yet to make $100 waitressing. i have made $90 twice, but never $100. shit, Bel made $110 tonight. and i had more tables than her. and worked 2 hours before her. every single job i get just doesn't pay enough for me to live off. and when i interview for real jobs (9-5 office stuff), there's always someone "more qualified". i'm doomed to be living from paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life. i hate it. everytime i get a new job, about 2-3 months later my parents are on my ass about looking for a new one because they know the one i've got now isn't good enough. it never is. and here i am bitching and feeling sorry for myself and i really don't give a damn. it's just that no matter what, i've never felt i've been good enough for anything my entire life. like i've always been 2nd string.

wait.....why am i still here? still breathing? still losing?

still longing for something i'm afraid i'll never have.

11:25 pm - May. 08, 2004

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