unafraid's Diaryland Diary

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Well things seem to be going well this past week. At least I hope. Brandon (whom I broke up with about a month ago) went out for drinks last Sunday. I just wanted to see him and catch up, I guess. Since I broke up with him I haven't stopped thinking about him for even a day. I have missed him terribly every minute. Missed us. So I called him up and he agreed to meet me.
We went to a bar and just talked and laughed all night. But of course the more alcohol we had, the more personal and emotional it became. I told him the truth and said I how much I hated being without him. But he reminded me that I hurt him and how would he know that I wouldn't do it again. And I know he has a point. I am just absolutely miserable without him.
Anyway, I couldn't drive (after 4 drinks and 2 shots) so he drove me home. We came inside, we talked, got close, and one thing led to another........it was.....amazing. him and I have never been that passionate, even when we were dating. The kiss that sparked it all was something I still think about Haha. It was one of those sweet-turned-up-against the wall kinda hot kisses! Anyway, as you can probably guess, he stayed the night. But it was really, really great.
So here we are almost a week later and he's called me every night before he goes to bed. It's really nice, and I think I'm even happier than I was the first time we started dating. He's coming over tomorrow night and I'm cooking for him. I'm glad we're seeing each other again. But I'm scared too. Right now, all I want is to spend time with him and be together. But what if all those things that made me run away come up again? I can't hurt him again. I don't want to. And I know he's afraid of that too. And I can't blame him. Right now I just want to make him as happy as he's making me. And I really want this to work. I think he's worth it. I guess only time will tell....

7:34 pm - Dec. 02, 2011

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