unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's gotta be something else... Today seems to be a Brandon kind of day. I cooked an awesome breakfast this morning, watched a movie, and cleaned the house, but I can't seem to get him out of my head. It's driving me nuts. I thought I had gotten past the depressed stage and was on to the angry part, but I keep thinking of all these things I miss about him and wondering if he's thinking about me too. It's been a month and it feels like its only been a week. I know its for the best that we're not speaking right now, but it feels like he's forgotten about me. What did I expect? For him to be calling me, saying he misses me and wants me back? Brandon's too stubborn for that. Even if it were true, which I'm sure its not. Guess I just need to start getting out more like I said I should. I don't want to be that girl that annoys all her friends by whining about her ex though. I know we did the right thing, I just don't know how to let him go now. I still feel like he was the one I should have married though. Crazy, huh. How can he be The One for me when he told me his job came before me?? And I was okay with that? Where is my self respect? And I can't sit here and hope he realizes that his life won't be complete without me in it. I can't wait for him when there could be someone else out there waiting for me. The guy I'm really supposed to marry. Where the Hell is he??! Life goes on. Time for me to put on a mother fucking happy smile, face the world, and stop living in the past. It's done. Over. I cannot move forward and collect my $200 if I'm still sulking in my little pathetic prison. Everything's going to work out. Brandon won't find someone who will want to take care of him and love him as much as I did, but he'll have his career. But money can't keep you warm at night. 5:10 pm - Nov. 19, 2012 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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