unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love, Beer, and Lonely Nights... I need to get out of this house. It has been a couple days since I've had a night in with no plans, but it is really getting to me tonight! Maybe because I haven't gotten a single phone call or text the entire day. Not one. I'm lonely and bored. I would go to the bar by myself, but then i'll just look like a loser. Lame. This could also be because Brandon text me last night. Just to tell me Ben Folds was on the radio. He misses me and is now trying to find excuses to communicate. But I'm glad. But now that he's broken our silence I am just waiting for him to get the guts to ask me out. So...I'm pretty much waiting by the phone. Which is retarded. I've become obsessed with this whole idea that if I play my cards right I can have him come crawling back. First of all, is that even a good idea? Half of my brain tells me no. You know, the smart half of my brain. And secondly, I was doing so much better when I wasn't scheming. Now I just feel like I'm losing my mind, wondering what I need to do or say to him or how I need to act around him to drive him crazy missing me. I need to be focusing on me! What steps do I need to be taking so I can feel comfortable in my own skin again? I don't need a man to love me so that I can love myself. I know that. I used to be awesome at being single. No, really, I was. I just need to find that awesome, social, centered woman and figure out how to be like her again! No more obsessing. I want to let him go. Here I am, putting him first again. Isn't time to put ME first? :) 9:24 pm - Nov. 24, 2012 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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