unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is everything so confusing I've been trying not to analyze my outing with Brandon too much this weekend, but I know it's not working. I keep thinking about everything he said and trying to figure out if it's because its the way he really feels or he's just too scared to try again. I know that everything he said makes total sense, but its still so hard to accept. He said he'd call me when he left my place and I am holding him to his word. Whether it'll be tonight or a few days from now I don't know. I am scared that if we did get back together we would be great for a couple weeks and then just get back into our routine of fighting. Part of me knows this is exactly what would happen. And yet it still doesn't deter me from wanting to be with him again. I know it doesn't make sense. I'm torn because I still feel like he's the one for me and at the same time I'm hoping there's something better out there for me. It's confusing. Am I just lonely? I want him to be a part of my life because I feel so lost without him, but I can't bear the thought of us breaking up again. But somewhere I know that he feels the same way and is going to stick to his guns this time. Be the stronger person because it sure isn't me. I go back on everything I believe for him. I still put him first. Why can't this be easier? Why can't we just get along? If we didn't fight so mych I know we would be perfect for each other. Br that should tell me something. Maybe we just aren't meant to be together. It breaks my heart, but I know us fighting all the time like we did is a sign. Why get back together if we can't get along? I know everything will work out one way or another. I won't be alone forever, I just may not end up with Brandon. We'll see. I just wish I could see the future and someone would tell me what's going to happen. I don't want to be away from him anymore, but I don't want to be with him just because I don't want to be alone. I love him. I always will. I hope he feels the same way... 8:50 pm - Dec. 03, 2012 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||