unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- V is for Victory So...Kevin finally made a move! He kissed me. And yes, I know I sound like a little high school girl, but that's how he makes me feel. Giddy and what not. I have liked this guy for about 5 years now. Years. And either he's always had a girlfriend or I've always had a boyfriend. And for the first time, we're single at the same time. I even liked him when I was with Brandon, which I hate to say, but this crush has just never gone away, no matter who I'm with. And it's just become even stronger since we started working together 5 months ago. We flirt like crazy! So I ended up going for some drinks with a friend at the bar Kevin used to work at and my friend who is also friends with Kevin text him and invited him up there. Of course, Kevin didn't know I was there too. So I'd had a few beers since then, needless to say, I was already drunk. Kevin shows up, hangs out, Wes (our mutual friend) leaves. Perfect! So Kevin decides to stay and hang out with me. Also perfect. We ended up having a fun time and we close down the bar together and he walks me out to my car. I had been drinking since 5:30! Not good. Anyway, we're both intoxicated and I really wish I could remember exactly what I said but I basically confessed my feelings for him. Then he catches me totally off gaurd and tells me he's always been attracted to me!! So in my super uncool way I tell him he should basically take me back to his place. Slutty, I know. Not what I was intending, but I was drunk and horny. Anyway, he tells me he can't since we work together blah blah blah but still wants to kiss me. So of course, I let him. Wow. His lips on mine, his tongue, his beard brushing my face. Ugh. Awesome. And he is a good kisser like I thought he would be. :) It was just perfect. I felt like I had just won him over after trying so damn hard for such a long time. I just about gave up on him a few days before this happened because I always just got the feeling it wasn't reciprocated. Guess I was wrong. I just can't get that kiss out of my head! I only wish I was more sober to remember the entire conversation. I remember it, it's just sort of a blur with a few words missing from sentences. But I've got that kiss. :) Two to be exact. So my new challenge is how do I get him alone and make him want to do it again. I have a strong feeling it wouldn't really be all that hard, but it's the fear of the unknown right now. I don't want him to have kissed me so I'll just be satisfied with that. Because I'm not. It's actually only made those feelings stronger and the need to get him to kiss me again as well. Will he even put himself in that situation with me to be able to kiss me again? The thing is he made a promise to our boss ( who is his long time best friend) that he wouldn't mess around with any of his staff. Me included. And Kevin's a good guy, loyal to his word. But that kiss meant something, right? Maybe he's wondering when it'll happen again like me. Maybe I shouldn't let him have all the control in this situation but I should take charge... I don't know. I haven't been able to stop obsessing over it since it happened and it's been driving me crazy. I should just let it take it's course. I just hope there's more to this story. I'm not ready to just let that be the end of it.... 12:09 am - Mar. 24, 2014 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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