unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Breakin at the Cracks I have been missing him a lot lately. I know I did the right thing by letting him go, but I still ask myself What If? He's such a good man with a good heart. That's hard to find these days. I know he'll find someone that he'll settle down with soon. I probably will too. I just always thought it would be him. Marriage, kids, house....the works. But even if in my heart I know we aren't right for each other, why do I keep wondering if maybe we were? Did I just freak out and run? Or did I know that we were doomed to fail? This whole breaking up and getting back together thing just doesn't work with me anymore. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life, but I can't keep holding on to the idea of us. If it was meant to be then it would be. But here we are, dating other people and trying to move on with our lives, as hard as it might be. I've got a second date with the new guy I'm seeing tomorrow and I'm happy about it. He makes me laugh and we have so much in common. Conversation with him is just...easy. It flows naturally even though we barely know each other. And I want it to work out. I do. I just can't get the other one out of my head. And the possibilities of what we could have been. But in order for this new relationship to work I have to let go of the past ones. That's the hard part. I keep thinking about old habits and familiar hang outs. Memories of cook outs in the back yard and going to sleep at night next to his warm body. Sunday brunches and being silly in the pool in the backyard in the summer. I'll miss that. But I know I can make new memories. That's just life. I didn't think I'd get over the ones before him, but I did. I can do it again. I just don't want to right now. 12:09 am - Jun. 04, 2014 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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