unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16 days and counting.... what a day. i hate to see my friends upset. especially my close friends. and i hate not being able to give good advice or cheer people up. i know that sometimes it's just not as easy as making someone laugh, but still. i do what i can. maybe sometimes it's just not enough. tabin felt lonely tonight and depressed about her appearance and basically why guys are asshole's like they are. tabin has SO MUCH to offer any guy. if he would just see that and accept it!! she's smart and funny and so nice and intelligent and deep...there is a guy out there who is looking for those qualities. someday they'll find each other and make lots of little asian babies. =) however, it's not as easy getting tabin to beleive me. at a time in my life, i thought i was good at giving advice. i don't think i really am. i always have felt this huge need to help people. if a good friend of mine is in need, i feel i have to help solve the problem. so i try what i can. i'm a good listener and i'm good at making people laugh, but that's about it. and seeing tabin hurt like that hurts me. i'm glad that she talks to me about it, but i just wish i could be of more help than i am. don't think i'd really be good working at a crisis hotline center. =) it's like i wish the right words would just come to me and i knew how to make it better. 'cause god knows if i could - i would. i hate seeing my friends upset like that. it kills me. lauren's going through rough times with boys right now too. she seems to have lots to choose from, but i think it's just picking the right one that is actually right for her and ready for a relationship that's the thing. i mean, when it comes to boys, we both handle things a bit differently, but i know we just want boys to heart us! we just have our own strategies. =) anyhow, i still wish i knew what to tell lauren, but i can't really say i've been in the situation she's been in. so i'm just here for listening. i guess that's what i'm good for, but sometimes - with me not knowing what to say - it makes me feel sort of helpless. i felt helpless with tabin tonight. i wanted to say the right things to make it better. it's like i wanted to hear tabin say "you know what? you're right! boys suck. appearances don't matter, i like me just the way i am! boys will notice and love me soon!" but i know it still hurts. i know there's probably nothing i could say or do to make the hurt go away. i could make her forget about it for a while but that may be it. *sigh* i hate feeling helpless like that. 2:39 a.m. - July 3, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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