unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- but i swear, i'm doing all i can... i realized something yesterday. i make a lot of poor choices. and i know a lot of you are probably thinking "geez, you just NOW figured that out?". and no, i didn't. actually, i'm sort of indecisive about it. i've been adding up the pro's and con's to all the decisions i've been making this year and i realize that maybe they aren't that bad. just because i act differently than one of my friends, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing. i mean, we're all different. we all do things that seem okay to us. and we can't change just because we feel we are constantly being judged and looked down upon. you know what i say? do whatever the hell you want as long as you are not putting others in danger. i have not ONCE put anyone else in danger, but possibly myself. and as long as everyone else is okay, why should they care? it's like i understand it, but to a certain point - i don't. i always feel like i'm being judged and looked down upon. i know that sometimes the things i do are not normal or smart. but i'm young and i'm experiencing things for myself and learning. no matter how bad you may want to make me stop whatever it is i'm doing wrong, the truth is that i'm learning for myself by making these "mistakes" and "bad choices". i understand that you can get angry at me for making the decisions i do because you care, but i'm just asking you to lighten up some, if possible. i guess this is beginning to be directed to one person now, but you know that i totally love you as a friend and it means a lot to me that you care so much. it's kind of like those kids that can get away with anything because they're parents could just care less what they do. i just don't think getting so angry with me helps anything. and i hope this entry doesn't make you upset with me either. you're one of my best friends and i really do listen to you and appreciate all the advice you give. anyway, i think i started this entry talking about something else, but it just went in a different direction. that's okay. i think too much sometimes and i start to ramble. guess it's back to homework now. yuck. 5:48 pm - Mar. 04, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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