unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- go ahead...kick my ass. "And so it goes until the day you die...this thing called love is gonna make you cry..." i am so tired right now. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up. i'll hybernate. yeah. so anyway, i went out with lindsay today to go see her boyfriend in Azle. pretty far. we met up with him and his friend, jason. jason apparently has heard a lot about me and wanted to meet me. so we all went out tonight. to like 2 different churches for like 15 minutes each. then we just went to a park. jason was kinda getting on my nerves. he wouldn't shut up and he always says "it's all good." and just....annoyed me. very much so. lindsay's boyfriend told lindsay that jason thought i was hot. or something like that. and jason just broke up with his girlfriend like 2 days ago. i just couldn't take being around him for that long of a time period. so eventually we just were like "we're tired and hungry so we're gonna head out." we exchanged numbers and i gave him my house number because i know that i'm hardly ever home. is that mean? i know it probably is. anyway. i just figured out that it's always like i'll like a guy, but he won't like me, or he'll like me and i just don't like him the same way. sucks, doesn't it? the luck that i have. i'm just really sort of sick and tired of dating. i know i've said this numerous times. but it's true. i get the same results. either i'll like him, but he won't like me, or there's just no interest at all. it's just like "why do i keep doing this to myself?" you know how many times i've gotten my hopes up and it never works out? one too many. i just don't want to deal with the mess anymore. but i know that no matter how much i bitch about it...i'll do it again. now there's really only one person that i really really want...but can't have. but no matter what i do, i canNOT get my hopes up about him. no matter what!!! why won't i die?! 12:06 am - Dec. 06, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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