unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- nothin'severgonnastandinmyway(again) if i do anymore thinking from yesterday and today, my head might explode. of course, it's only about one person but still...that's a lot of thinking. what else do i think about these days but reed? when i think about something not happening between us, i almost get panicky. haha i know it sounds bad. "i'm a panicky fan!! oh no!!" (sorry, inside joke) anyway....i just miss him a lot. i miss talking with him and making him laugh and him making me laugh. =) it sucks that i never get to see him anymore. i wonder if he ever thinks about me. today i talked about reed with kristin today at work. she told me that she thinks i'm pretty much reed's type. god, i hope so. but now i'm just hoping we can at least build a good friendship. like i just wanna hang out outside of work and stuff. hell, i don't even get to hang out with him at work anymore b/c he works at his old store. when i really sit down and think about it...it really really sucks that i spent all this time with him at my store and we got to know each other and now i never see him or talk to him. like all of those deep conversations meant a lot to me personally. and now they've just stopped and it's weird and depressing. and come to think of it...i don't know if i scared him off b/c of the letter i gave him. i told him that he's taught me so much in music, life, and work and i apreciate it all. and then i never got a response from him. so i have no idea what in the hell he thinks of me now. i mean, even after i did talk to him a couple times after that, he acted fine towards me. he'd joke around and tease me and everything. no change. so i don't think i scared him. now i'm just gonna try my hardest to build a friendship with him. i have to. i mean, i personally consider us friends, but i don't know if he does or not. we'll see. i'm gonna go see him up at the Parks on saturday. just be like "hey reed! i was just out shopping and i thought i'd stop by and see what's up!" then after doing that a few times, i'll casually find some way for us to just hang out somewhere outside of work. like coffee or a listening party hosted by a record label. we'll see. i have to do something. i do not want to sit on my ass and let this slip away from me. i have to take action or i'll always regret it. i can't stop thinking about him for 2 seconds for pete's sake!! maybe i'm just crazy. maybe it's the alcohol. wait i don't drink. maybe it's just me. 12:49 am - Jan. 10, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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