unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i guess it's just like breathing, but not wanting to... what a shitty day. it was pretty good, until 20 minutes before i got off work. i got really mad and sort of yelled, even though i wanted to make more of a scene. haha. i don't know why, i was just pissed. there are 3 different kinds of managers at my work: the head honcho, assitant managers, and 3rd-key holders. i used to be a 3rd key holder until the store i worked at closed down and i had to transfer. at the store i went to, there was no room for anymore 3rd key's, so therefore, i got demoted. AND my pay got cut. but i stuck with the job. so anyway, i am now what they call a 'part-timer' and apparently only 'managers' are allowed to switch out cd's in the store's stereo. why? i have no idea. it's not like brain surgery or anything. so anywho, the cd player stopped and i figured i'd start it up again, so i switched 2 out of 5 cd's and started it back up. jon, one of the 3rd key's says "did you put in some new cd's??" and i say "yeah.." and he says "well, you know you're not supposed to do that..." and i snap back "oh yeah! only managers are allowed to do that, huh?!!" i was so mad. they said i could get written up for it. for changing 2 fucking cd's. all the managers there make sure everyone else knows they are lower than them. it sucks. i don't why they have to be so anal. actually, the only really anal one is jon. anywho, i've just been thinking about how much everyone at work is a big clique and i'm still on the outside. sure, they came to my party and they used to invite me out with them, but they don't anymore. i don't know why, but it bothers me. and then there's another clique that i feel i'm slowly getting pushed out of. i don't think i was ever in it. well, i was in the beginning, but not anymore. i just feel like everyone's pushing me away and i don't know who to go to. so i've got my trusty diary who doesn't reject me and let's me talk as much as i want. without judging me for all the wrong decisions i make. and i know i make a lot of them. so maybe i brought all of this on myself. i'm too quiet to get noticed. i keep to myself so i don't make an impact on people for them to want to hang out with me. or something like that. anyway, it's time for bed or something. night. 11:25 pm - May. 30, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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