unafraid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- spend all your time waiting..... So how was Hank Williams the III in concert? oh. i wouldn't know. i didn't get to go. so at work, i go to the backroom and check my cell to see if anyone's called. i have a couple of voicmails! drew...matt....ooh! Ricky! so it turns out, he finally got around to getting a cell phone since he the phone at his apt isn't working. so i call him back and he tells me all about how "he's had this recording session with this guy planned a long time ago" and he "just now realized it. so it's either go see Hank [who he's not a big fan of anyway] or do the session and make some much needed money out of it." so basically, he just cancelled. as much as i tried not to let it get to me - i was crushed. i really wanted to go. not only to see Hank Williams, but also b/c i'd be going with Ricky. i love going to shows and i just wanted to go with ricky and have fun. but unfortunately, he had other plans. so he says he has a meeting at work tomorrow that will last until probably 7 pm. which is when i get off work. so he says "i'll call you...or you can call me and we can get together or whatever." i'm starting to feel like maybe he's trying to casually break it off. i mean, we're not involved or anything like that, so it's not really that big of a deal at all, i just had my hopes up b/c it's not often that i start to like a guy, i get the guts to ask them out (i can't even describe how shy i am!), and they actually like me before i can even say anything! it's a rarity, trust me. so now...did i fuck it up like i figured i would? or maybe i'm just thinking too much as usual and it's all in my head. i mean, it's not like we have to see/talk to each other every single day. not at all. i probably shouldn't have gone up to his work the other day when he didn't call me. i'm scared i'm going to crowd him or something. i know how guys need their space. i mean, i can tell how he's sort one of those guys that doesn't need much space, but i know every now and then, he still needs some. so maybe i'll just back off for a bit and see what happens. i chase way too much. way too much. i guess i'm just scared that if i back off, he'll be okay with it and he'll just move on and forget about me. if i fade into the background, will he lose me and not even notice? guess i just have to play it by ear, you know? god, i'm such a drama queen. 12:02 am - Feb. 10, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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